“Bearing Down on Something I Need to Be: I Journey Without Stops Across an Unknown Sea In the Good Company of Ghosts“
in the quiet hours of the morning
i woke up wishing
sleep had never set me free,
that silence was all i had ahead
waiting for me.
you see these people here
just won’t let me be happy,
keep stealing my laughter
and crushing every crumb of hope
my tired dreams allow me.
you know, i’m sorry i cry so much.
sorry. i can’t stand all of these
words i put to my apologies.
but they’re all i have past quietly
passing everything in sleep.
so when the room is empty
of everyone but you and me
i have to let myself open up
and pray to my idea of you
somewhere close listening.
this place you left me to suffer through
its full of the ghost of you
so i’ll hang on to that old knife you gave me,
keep it sharp enough to cut the anchor free,
keep free enough to keep the wind in the sheets.
you know i can’t promise much to you,
but i can honestly say i hope to,
take this name of yours and make it something
big enough for you and fit perfectly
to size of imagined memories
and a man i never met but love with every bone in me.
